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Nagged to Ed/Script
scene opens in a garage. An insect is crawling across what appears to be a workshop desk. Edd: it up with a pair of tongs "Not so fast, little fella!" carefully places the insect in a jar. Ed: "I saw this thing in a movie. "I Married a Thorax!" Edd: over his insect collection "Ants, check. Millipedes, check. Moths–" Eddy: "Yep. It's a bug." Edd: up an empty jar "Well, Eddy, the time has arrived for my monthly insect expedition!" him supplies "A pair of galoshes and sterile gloves to avoid bacteria and germs." Eddy: "Insects bug me." Edd: out a shovel and some gloves "Ed, for you." Eddy: misusing the equipment "Okay. Ready." Ed: a glove on his head "Set." blows the glove up until it shoots off his head. Edd: "Go! Let us proceed to the forest!" leads the way. Eddy: "Follow Nature Boy." ---- Eds are in the forest. Edd: "Isn't it magnificent? All the splendors of nature, displayed in one giant petri dish full of life!" he speaks, the atmosphere of the forest changes, becoming darker and scarier. Ed: "I think I swallowed a bug." Eddy: a noise "Huh? What was that?" camera zooms out to show that there's nothing there. Eddy: "That's it! This nature stuff is for the birds." stomps off and disappears around a corner. "WHOAOOO!" Ed and Edd: "Eddy?" go after Eddy and find him staring at an enormous spiderweb. Ed: entranced "Whoa, way big." Edd: "It's a masterpiece of nature!" Eddy: "Looks like my grandmother's hairnet. Well, let's go guys. ED!" is in the center of the web, bouncing on it. Eddy: "Get down, you maniac!" Ed: "Yee-haw, it's sticky!" Edd: "You're disturbing the eco-environment!" hear a noise. Ed: "What was that?" Edd: "Now you've done it. Ed, I suggest..." gulps. Eddy starts shivering. Chanters: "Ed, Edd 'n Eddy. Sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Eddy: "Ed! Get off that thing!" laughter is heard. Ed: "Huh?" tries to get down "Help me, guys! I don't want the fluids drained from my body!" Eddy: "Hold on, Ed! We'll rescue ya!" and Eddy try to pull Ed loose. Meanwhile, the chant starts again. Chanters: "Ed, Edd 'n Eddy. Sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G." is pulled loose. The laughter is heard again, and the Eds run through the forest. They suddenly run into three pairs of eyes. Chanters: "Ed, Edd 'n Eddy. Sitting in a tree." Eds run away. Chanters: "K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Eds run into the eyes again. Chanters: "Ed, Edd 'n Eddy. Sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N–" Eds run again. Edd: an exit "A way out. Through the trees!" Eds follow it and plunge headfirst into swampy muck. Eddy: "Help! Quicksand!" Ed: "I am blind" Edd: "My eyes!" Eds see something that makes them clam up. The spooky laughter is heard again, and three figures step in front of the camera. The Eds: "AAAAAHHH!" ---- are now in a trailer park. The camera circles around and centers in on a blue trailer. Inside, the Eds are lying on the floor, wearing robes. Lee: over them with May and Marie "Hey Eds, so happy you dropped in!" Marie: "Hope you like our dads' robes!" Eds sit up with a start. Edd is wearing a robe that says "Bubba," Ed is wearing one that says "Rod," and Eddy has on a robe reading "Butch." Eddy: "How did we get into these?" Kanker Sisters lean in and attempt to kiss them. The Eds flee to the wall, and the Kankers giggle. Edd: an undertone "This is not good." Lee: she and her sisters flop down around the Eds "Go ahead. Yell. No one will hear you." May: "I'm May Kanker." Marie: "I'm Marie Kanker." Lee: "And I'm Lee Kanker. We're the Kanker sisters. We just moved in." Eddy: "I'm Eddy." Ed: "I'm Ed." Edd: "I'm–" Marie: "We know. Double D. Don't you worry about that." Eddy: "Uh, do you girls know where our clothes are?" Lee: "Oh they're drying outside. You boys sure were dirty." jerks up, confused. "We're gonna pop into the kitchen for a bit, boys, and fix up some home cookin' for ya." Marie: "We'll be right back." May: the pack "Hey! Wait for me!" Kanker sisters exit. Edd: nervous "This is very strange. Let's go!" Eddy: him back "Hold it, Double D. Where's your manners? They're new here. And they said they were gonna make us some food, didn't they? So why don't we just hang out a bit, eat for free, and then we can split. C'mon, let's check this place out!" Edd: not satisfied "Where exactly are we?" ---- stares out the window at the trailer park. Eddy: "Huh. Looks like a postcard I sent my brother once." Ed: "Ah, TV!" turns it on and gets only static. He pounds it a few times, but still recieves nothing. He pounds it again, and then tries turning the knob. Even after this, he still gets nothing. "Ah it's a rerun." turns the TV off and picks up a diving helmet. "Nice space helmet." puts it on and sits on the couch. "Take me to your plumber." Eddy: "Nice head, Ed. Get it? It rhymes. Head? Ed? I crack me up." Edd: at the bookcase "Interesting. Hub Cap Digest." picks it up and flips through it. All the pages are blank. "This book has no print. These pages are blank!" Eddy: at something "Ha ha look! Artwork!" laughs. "It's Ed and May! How cute!" gaze then falls on one of Edd and Marie. Edd: "Is that me?" Eddy: a drawing of Eddy and Lee getting married "What the–AAAAH! That's not funny!" tears it off the wall and crumples it up. Marie: with a tray on which are cups of milk "Okay, boys! Come and get some nice cold delicious powdered milk!" Eds rush over and drink from the glasses. After each sip, they exhale white powder into the air. Marie: a videotape in the VCR "How about a video? Fish Bowl 2. A classic." Eds sigh and sink into the couch, contented. ---- Marie: in the kitchen with her sisters "It's so nice to have the boys home." May: "Hey, I'm doing the fish sticks!" snatches the box from Marie. Marie: "Then give me the cleave-a-clob!" Lee: "Girls, shut up! We got lunch to make?" grabs a stick of lard. "The way to a man's heart is through his arteries." dumps the entire stick on top of the burgers. "Add a little Kanker secret sauce...Ketchup!" drowns the food in the condiment. ---- food is being brought in to the Eds. The Kankers: "Dinner's ready." scent is so tantalizing that the Eds levitate towards the grub. They take it back to the couch and dig in. The Kankers: sighing "They're so dreamy." May: upstairs with her sisters "Be back in a minute, boys!" Lee: "Yeah. We're gonna go and freshen up!" Eds continue to eat. Eddy stops after a bite and pulls out a cog wheel. He throws it behind the couch and continues his meal. ---- Kankers come downstairs, now wearing prettier clothes. The Kankers: "We're back." Marie: "Notice anything new, Eddy?" he doesn't respond, she waves a hand in front of his eyes. Eddy doesn't notice. Lee: "The finest in processed products! Only the best for you." pays no attention to her statement. Eddy: "Hey, how about a refill on that powdered milk stuff?" May: "Do you like our Kanker Burger, Big Ed?" Ed: with his mouth full "It's good, yum!" May: "Don't talk with your mouth full mister!" puts a pillow behind Edd. Edd starts. Marie: "AAH!" Edd: "Please refrain from touching me when I'm eating. Thank you." Marie: him "I'll touch whenever I want, buddy boy!" Edd: "Is there a problem?" The Kankers: "Everything's fine!" ---- Eds are watching Fish Bowl 2 when the Kankers move to stand in front of the TV. Eddy: annoyed "Hey move it! Out of the way! This is the best part!" Lee: "Move it?" Marie: in Eddy's face "It's not good enough that we've worked hard and broken our backs for you?" Lee: Ed's face "If things don't change around here, we're leaving!" May: Edd's face "It's time you good-for-nothings started to pull our own weight around here!" Ed: Eddy "What is up with them?" both look to Edd, who shrugs. Marie: to the food remnants "Clean this mess up right now!" Eds rush to take care of it, but before they can start Lee calls them. Lee: "Hey! Over here! Clean this mess!" Eds are in front of a sink full of dishes. comes up with an idea. He lifts the couch, and the Eds slide the mess under it. Lee: "You call that clean?" throws some clothes at Eddy "Get washing!" Marie: Edd a brush "And scrubbing!" Lee: Edd by the ear "Come along, little man." Marie: "Time to clean up!" grabs Eddy by the hair. Ed laughs at his friends' misfortune until May hands him a toilet brush. May: "And you!" heads off to clean. ---- are noises coming from a toilet. The lid lifts slightly and Ed peeps out. May: "Make it shine!" slams the lid back down. ---- is in front of a sink, washing dishes. Ed suddenly appears and wrecks the stack. Edd: "Ed, you ruined my dishes." Ed: he passes Eddy "Headed outside, Eddy!" Eddy: "Slacker." looking at Ed, he collides with Edd. Their piles, of laundry and dishes, respectively, fly all over the place. Lee: her toenails "That better be fighting over me I hear in there!" ---- is washing the windows. In the kitchen, Edd is getting up. Edd: "I'm going to sanitize the living area." Eddy: to the edge "Okay. I'll clean this. I'll clean EVERYTHING!" throws the laundry in the sink, which is filled with soapy water, and stomps on it. ---- is cleaning the living room floor. The Kankers: "Better shine it up nice!" enters from the outside, mud on his shoes. The Kankers: "Hey! Mud tracker! You're tracking mud!" Edd: "Mud?" looks down. Through the film of his helmet, he can clearly see the mud. Ed: "Uh-oh." exacerbates the problem by walking forward and tracking more mud. He then steps in Edd's bucket of water, which gives him momentum, sending him uncontrollably towards the kitchen. May: "You better not wreck Daddy's bucket!" heads into the kitchen and collides with Eddy, who is holding laundry. Eddy passes the laundry to him. Eddy: "Hang these outside!" pushes Ed in the opposite direction. Ed: "Uh. Okay. EDDY!" collides with Edd, who is scrubbing the floor again. They both topple over. Lee comes over and lectures Ed, but all that is heard is a faint mumbling. Lee: "...you should go back to diving for clams." Eddy: up "THAT'S ENOUGH!" Kankers begin to snivel. Okay? Marie: "T-this is the th-thanks we get for our hard work?" Kankers run into their room crying. Eddy: "Uh-oh." ---- Kankers are sitting on the bed in their room. May: sniffling "Us girls have got to get ourselves together." doorknob turns and the Eds peek in. "Haven't you done enough damage already? Now get out of here! And never come back!" slams the door in their faces. Eddy: satisfied "Well, you heard her. Let's go!" Edd: "This has been quite educational." Eddy: "Hello, freedom." opens the door only to come face to face with the Kankers. Eddy: "AAAAH!" May: "Just a minute there. What about Eddy Jr.?" pulls a string on a doll of Eddy, and Eddy's laugh plays. Lee: a doll of Ed "And Ed Jr.!" May: Marie pulls out an Edd doll "Don't forget Double D Jr.!" The Eds: "AAAH!" Eddy: "That's it! RUN FOR IT!" Eds run away screaming, still wearing the robes. Lee: "That's it, run you cowards!" Marie: "Get lost!" May: "And don't trip on your shoelaces!" watching them "Look at them run." Marie: dreamily "Just like a real man." Lee: a kiss "I think I'm in L-U-V love!" Kankers sigh, and then laugh evilly. Category:Scripts Category:Season 1 Category:Season 1 Scripts